No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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