You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
its liver damage thursday
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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