i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
