I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
