my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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