we have officially lost it.
please come you make the beer taste better
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
