Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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