He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
