I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
