scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
