overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
