Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Randomize
