What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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