had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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