I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
