That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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