I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
