i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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