hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
do nipples grow back?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
