She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
