we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
