We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
