If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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