hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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