My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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