no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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