I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
