Apparently you make a good broom.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
