I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
