i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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