We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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