I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
