Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
