I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Boobs are out for the taking
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
