I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
