is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
