thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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