this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
this is an emotional support booty call
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize