So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
