You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
