I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize