I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize