youre lurking in front of me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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