So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
