3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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