Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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