I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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