I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
