dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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