By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
whose parrot is this?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
