You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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