so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
