I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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