I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
