im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize