i need an iv and a liver transplant
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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