nut hugger
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
