I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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