Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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