sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
