I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize